Weekly Update From Councillor Guy Lambert

Taking his litter picking duties very seriously

Spring Cleaning Around Brentford Station
Spring Cleaning Around Brentford Station


Guy Lambertguy.lambert@hounslow.gov.uk

tel 07804 284948

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Gosh, that Planning Committee went on for ages. Time flies when you’re having fun. Or so they tell me. We eventually approve a house in a garden in Chiswick, turn down a modest increase to the proposed golf range at Hounslow Heath (which turns out to be a modest 200% increase when we lift the covers) and condemn the residents of Hanworth to a life of McDonalds and Chicken Cottage. Only Brentford will be getting a new KFC anytime soon. The Brentford School for Girls gets its all purpose court approved and I get a severe wigging from the very stern Cllr Biddolph for not having a plan to recycle the Astroturf. If it’s as evil as she thinks, perhaps her government should ban it. Louki and I discover the only pub open around midnight is the Brewery Tap (there are worse options) now the Magpie has flown off to a new roost, hopefully for a short holiday.

Friday evening I’m out in Clayponds Avenue with my clipboard. I’m relieved to find that people only talk about local issues, mainly traffic, so we keep off the vexed B question.  This car lives on Clayponds Gardens, though according to the DVLA it doesn’t exist. Trying to persuade Hounslow Highways to take it away as someone has broken into it and it is used as what neighbours describe as a ‘den’ but the fact it doesn’t exist is a complication. Assume it’s false plates so trying to get the cops interested as well!

Car that may not exist

Sunday morning I’m out with Tim from Hounslow Highways and the wonderful people from Air Quality Brentford. We are doing a litter pick around Brentford station ending with Tim and I tackling the notorious footpath from Windmill Road which is owned and ‘maintained’ by the (n)ever-cooperative Network Rail. We’re very pleased with ourselves with the litter picking and Tim sweeps the steps very vigorously but replacing the missing bricks in the steps may take NR another decade or three.

Litter picking
Monday evening it’s the second part of our Labour Group AGM where we go through the extremely lengthy task of electing members of committees. There are about 15 candidates for 7 vacancies on the planning committee and the way democracy works is that only the one with the lowest votes is eliminated each round, so this can take many hours, especially as new ballot papers are needed for each round. Usually people see the writing on the wall and withdraw, but it still takes an age. Anyway, it’s over eventually and those of us on the cabinet get an early bath because we’re not allowed to vote in the Overview and Scrutiny committee elections.

Tuesday is the day for the ridiculous car’s annual health check aka the MoT. My lugubrious friend from Capital Motors tells me it’s likely to cost a lot of money and perhaps I should do the sensible thing and just scrap it. Later in the day the doctor rings with his diagnosis, which starts with tyres and brake pads, brake discs etc. I take a stiff brandy, and the patient is detained for two overnight stays for further tests and treatment.

Superfan Melvinator sends me an email: One for the memory bank, Guy, this is the Bees Manager, one for the blog, and yes, we won the Cup. This photo is attached:
Cllr Mel Collins with Thomas Frank

On Wednesday I go up to the Harvester for brecker with the Brentford Chamber of Commerce and various members, which is always fun and helps keep in touch with local business. I then have to whizz to the FoodBox via a cash machine as they need some £££ to pay for a few items, then I’m off to Brentford’s most under-appreciated park, Carville Hall Park South, for a litter pick with Greenspace 360 and some council officers. The park is truly beautiful, despite being more or less underneath the M4 (note – still looking for someone to start a Friends Group) and to be truthful we didn’t find much litter to pick, except deep in the shrubbery where old cans of Tyskie lurk. We did however finish off clearing the horrible flytip on our land by the railway. Not much we can do about Network Rail’s area behind the fence though. I noticed that Hounslow Highways have (finally) done a super job of thoroughly cleansing the road/path over the bridge which is now quite pristine and graffiti-free. Well, it was yesterday.

Bridge cleaners!

I had a quick beer in the Black Dog with the chair of Friends of Waterman’s Park – I may have persuaded him that he’d like to be a Trustee of the FoodBox – and was home in time to watch the second half of Porto 1 Liverpool 4 (Liverpool win 6-1 on aggregate) so a good day all round, especially as City lost hahahahaha. On the other hand, Spurs won.

Today we are having a meeting with Ferry Quays management to talk about how we’ll improve recycling from the block – I’m hoping it can be a role model for other flocks of bats, or blocks of flats as those who are unspoonerised might say. Then we have a parks and libraries meeting later on then a break for something called Easter. Heathens like me didn’t really notice this so I will be canvassing on Good Friday evening and litter picking on Easter Sunday morning, something that has put me in line for some very Christian criticism on Facebook. Anyway, any other heathens are very welcome to join us at 10 on Sunday. We are meeting at the junction of the A4 and Brook Lane North. We’ll provide litter pickers, gloves and green bags. You will have to supply any personality.


Cllr Guy Lambert

April 18, 2019

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